we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
A+ Viking dick
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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