I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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