Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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