Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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