I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He felt like a one man threesome
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
