can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
