Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
