i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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