"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
