There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
