You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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