this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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