you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
