My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
