wanna go halves on a baby?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
