you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
