look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
