so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
