she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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