someone owes me an orgasm
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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