I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
