is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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