No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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