haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i came on her dog
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
