how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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