i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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