It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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