Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
