playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
