This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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