you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
