I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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