You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
