it wasn't lemon gatorade
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
