Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize