I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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