she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
