You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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