he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
