I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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