he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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