i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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