I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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