I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
