We're facebook friends in real life
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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