i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
They have beer where we have blood.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
