his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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