I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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