OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
