but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
