I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
so much tequila, so little girl.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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