Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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