I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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