If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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