the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
