My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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