Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
