using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
