Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
