I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
