i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
