Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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