that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize