Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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