She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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