He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
