that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
