My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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